


Exes and "Oh"s

by NothingSoDivine



Series: Sxyvaan [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Exes, F/M, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Interrupted Sex, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Terezi is totally not being used as deus ex machina, Unresolved Sexual Tension, WUZZLES!, also, ex-girlfriend-related shenanigans, how bizarre, maybe? - Freeform, not at all, that's strange, there isn't a tag for "the two main characters' mutual ex-girlfriend walks in on them fucking", totally not using the entrance of the ex-girlfriend as an excuse not to write the sex scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-18
Updated: 2015-02-18
Packaged: 2018-03-09 18:47:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3260531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NothingSoDivine/pseuds/NothingSoDivine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wonder what Terezi's been up to in this AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exes and "Oh"s

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place some time after Black Diamond/Ice Sky.

"Thank you so much!" Karkat called to the cheering crowd, stepping away from his microphone. "Have a good night!" He set down his guitar and headed offstage, Dave trailing close behind.

The second they were offstage, Karkat grabbed Dave's hand and started pulling him towards their dressing room. "Gods, hurry _up_ ," he whined, tugging at Dave's hand.

Nepeta came bursting around the corner just as Karkat was flinging open the dressing room door. "Guys," she gasped, "you don't have time for this! You can't just keep disappearing for the first fifteen minutes after every performance! Your fans are going mental! I can't hold them back!"

"Just buy us five minutes," Dave pleaded. "Come on, Nep, you're the only one we can trust with this, you know that. Just give us five minutes and we'll be done."

Karkat shot him a look. "Five minutes?"

Nepeta ignored him. She held Dave's pleading gaze for several seconds, then sighed.

"Five minutes," she told them. "I can't guarantee a second more." She turned and headed back to the stage door.

Dave was on Karkat in a flash, shoving him through the door and shutting it behind them with his foot.

"Five minutes?" Karkat panted as Dave attacked his neck. "Are you serious?"

"Trust me," Dave mumbled against Karkat's skin. "I've counted."

Karkat growled and grabbed Dave by the collar, pinning him against the wall next to the door and kissing him frantically as Dave's fingers worked at his fly. Within seconds, the zipper gave way and Dave was plunging his hand into Karkat's pants, releasing the clamp before grasping at his bulge and slipping two fingers into his nook and -

The door burst open. Karkat jumped; Dave's hand jerked painfully in his nook.

"Whoops," the troll girl announced, grinning a wicked grin. "Sorry about tha - whoa." She sniffed. "Does the internet know about this yet?"

"Terezi?" Karkat gasped, incredulous. So did Dave.

They turned their incredulous gazes towards each other. "You know each other?" Dave asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Karkat replied, like it should be obvious. "We kind of dated in college for, like, two years?"

"So did we," Dave countered warily, "but we broke up just before I graduated."

"But... that's when _we_ broke up," Karkat said, "because she was harboring pitch feelings for my moirail and dating someone flushed on the side, even after our discussion." He paused to glare at Terezi.

Dave also took the opportunity to glare in the same direction. "We graduated at the same time," he pointed out to Karkat.

Terezi raised her eyebrows, wicked grin morphing into a more sheepish expression. She slipped in through the half-open door, shutting it behind her.

"Lots to catch up on, huh, Karkles, coolkid?" she said, nodding to Karkat and Dave in turn.

They both shot her unamused looks. Dave carefully extricated himself from Karkat's nook. (Karkat was far too proud of the fact that he didn't flinch.)

"We broke up a month before graduation," Dave began, "because even though we discussed that I wasn't okay with her filling other concupiscent quadrants, I found out through a friend that she was dating someone else."

" _We_ broke up a month before graduation," Karkat added, zipping himself back into his jeans, "because I found out that she'd been coming on to my moirail in the same quadrant I was in with her, _and_ dating someone flushed on the side even though we'd had the same discussion."

"So..." Dave glared at Terezi. "TZ, you got some 'splaining to do."

"Sit down," Karkat invited icily, gesturing to the nearest chair. Terezi knew better than to decline.

"Well, I really liked you, Dave," she said. "And I really hated you, Karkles. So what was I supposed to do? And yeah, I know, both of you didn't agree with the whole filling-multiple-concupiscent-quadrant thing, so I just didn't tell you."

"I knew that spiderbitch was a bad influence on you," Karkat muttered. "I knew she was a bad influence and I only met her once."

"Who, Vriska?" Dave asked.

"You know Vriska?" Terezi interjected.

"Yeah, she's fucking my best bro. How could I not know Vriska?" Dave replied. "I thought she was the one you were fucking pitch, but apparently not."

"What, were you pitch for her too?" Karkat asked Terezi, not bothering to keep the snarky tone from his voice. "Were you hating on my moirail _and_ the spiderbitch at the same time you were dating me pitch?"

"Gods, both of you are absurd! You're blowing this whole thing out of proportion," Terezi said, standing up and twisting her chair around before sitting back down on it backwards. "Just because I want to date people in different quadrants, doesn't mean you guys have to freak out. And no, I was not pitch for Vriska at that point," she continued. "I haven't been pitch for her since high school."

"You were dating us both, at the same time, even though we'd explicitly discussed that we didn't want you dating other people in other quadrants," Karkat reiterated, "and _then_ you started hitting on my moirail pitch. When you and I were _already dating pitch_. There isn't much further to go out of proportion, Terezi."

"Pretty nasty thing to do, really," Dave added.

"It cost me my moirail and my kismesis and, if I'd known all the details, it would likely have cost me my bandmate and future kismesprit," Karkat continued, "not to mention that losing my only two filled quadrants was one of the main causes of the depression and anorexia that both nearly claimed my life. So yeah, a pretty nasty thing to do."

"All right, all right, I'm sorry!" Terezi exclaimed. "Jesus mother of fuck, can we not let bygones be bygones? Forgive and forget?"

"Forget, never in a million years," Karkat answered. "Forgive, not likely."

"Possible, but not likely," Dave agreed, "especially now that I know that it was your fault."

Terezi propped her head on her hand. "Did I not already apologise? I'm fucking sorry, okay? I didn't realise it was that bad, and I regret it, but it happened, so let's accept that and move on!"

Karkat thought for a moment. Dave watched him, waited for his verdict.

"All right," Karkat decided after a moment. "Apology accepted. I'm sorry for blaming you, too. It wasn't really your fault. It was nobody's fault, shit happens."

"Agreed," Dave said. "So, how have you been, Terezi? Apart from your timing -"

"Which is positively atrocious," Karkat interjected.

"- it's great to see you again. How's life been with you?"

Terezi shrugged. "Not bad. Gamzee and I are still together, I'll have you know," she informed Karkat, shoving her red glasses back up on her nose, "and very happily so."

"Glad to hear it worked out," Karkat said sincerely, "even if things sort of fell apart because of it."

"Why are you here?" Dave asked.

Terezi grinned. "I've been a fan for _ever_ , guys," she said, as if it was obvious.

"How'd you get a backstage pass?" Karkat asked. "Normally requests for those go through us personally."

"Oh, that was my moirail," Terezi explained. "He pulled a couple strings."

"Who's your moirail?" Karkat asked, sitting down in the other chair.

"Sollux."

"Sollux? The sound guy?" Dave asked, turning to Karkat. "The one we hired a couple months ago? Is that who we're talking about?"

"That's him," Terezi confirmed.

"He's your moirail?" Karkat gaped at her. "Wait, no, let me rephrase that. He has a moirail?"

"Why is that so difficult to believe?" Terezi replied. "Hell, even Gamzee had a moirail at one point."

"Yeah, but Gamzee _needed_ a moirail," Karkat explained. "Sollux doesn't exactly seem that dangerous."

"You don't know him," was all Terezi said to that. "Anywho, Gamzee and I still loathe each other, Sollux and I are pitifully pale, and how's life with you two? I see you're burnt as fuck for each other," she added, lowering her glasses so she could wink at Karkat.

Karkat flushed an ashy shade of red. "Shut up."

Terezi just shrugged. "It's true. Isn't it?" She looked to Dave for confirmation.

"Burnt as fuck," he agreed. "It's true."

"So, neither of you has a matesprit or a kismesis then, I'm assuming?" Terezi continued. "How about your diamonds, how are they faring?"

"Well, Karkat's pale for our aesthetics master, Kanaya, who's flushed as all getout for my moirail-and-cousin Rose," Dave informed her. "That's pretty much how that's going."

"Good for you," Terezi congratulated. "You've both managed to successfully fill your quadrants. You guys happy?"

They glanced at each other, but it wasn't really necessary. "Yes," they replied simultaneously.

Terezi grinned. "And Nepeta Leijon is your manager? How'd that happen?"

"You know Nepeta?" Dave asked. "Actually, wait, why am I surprised that you know anyone any more?"

"We used to do a bit of FLARPing together, before her moirail put the kibosh on it," Terezi disclosed. "How'd she get to be your manager?"

"Well, she was kind of really excited about us being a band -" Dave explained - "like, even more excited than we were - so after she arranged the first couple dozen gigs we just hired her. Made it official, y'know?"

"Besides, her moirail Equius does our grunt work for us," Karkat added. "All the heavy lifting, et cetera, and he's a genius with setting up the mics and whatnot."

There was a knock on the door. "Five minutes are up, guys," Nepeta called from outside the dressing room door. "I hope you're ready."

Karkat glanced down. "I'm in the bathroom," he decided, before slipping off in that direction.

"Well, I don't want to overstay my welcome," Terezi said, standing up to leave, "so I'll be heading out."

Dave grabbed her arm. He'd never much trusted Terezi when she was wearing that wicked grin.

"If you breathe a word of this," he informed her, "I'll have your guts for garters."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Terezi replied airily.

"And no posting it on the internet, either," Dave clarified.

Terezi pouted. "Damn."

Dave grinned and opened the door, waving her through with a gentlemanly sweep of his arm. "Good to see you again."

"You too, coolkid," she returned. "Say goodbye to Karkles for me, would you?"

She was halfway down the hall when Dave called her back.

"Got any dirt on Karkat's secret kinks?" he asked under his breath. "I mean, that I wouldn't necessarily have found out yet."

Terezi just grinned. "I'll be on Pesterchum all day tomorrow."

"Thanks, Rez," Dave breathed, "you're the best."

She grinned wider. "I know."

**Author's Note:**

> So that's what she's been up to.  
> ... wow.  
> Okay.
> 
> Also, I don't know how I should rate this, so please feel free to inform me of your opinion on that topic :)


End file.
